Avoiding Avoidance

Avoiding Avoidance

Why do I avoid certain tasks? Because they are challenging, because they are boring, and because…I’m scared. Yes, scared. Like spider-in-your-bed-kinda-scared. But the spider is in my head cobwebs and all. People who are not ADHD view avoidance as laziness or stupidity. Far from it as most ADHD’er’s are much above average intelligence. So, mail lays unopened for fear of a bill that cannot be paid, voice messages go unheard for fear of confronting mistakes and dreams go undreamed for fear of failure.

I suppose I am not only attention deficit, I am also motivation-ally deficit. ADHD kids are motivated by stickers, tokens and gadgets. These however, are merely tangible representations of what we all need; the feeling of success. I would often say, “I wish I could do just ONE thing right!!” It’s because I avoid opportunities for success.

Consider this. Often ADHD sufferers avoid jobs and tasks that stretch us and allow us to use our full potential. Therefore we settle for “comfortable” jobs and then find ourselves bored and without purpose. Or, we choose jobs that stimulate our intellect but require many tasks we love to avoid. This creates a perpetual cycle of being successful at one thing- failing.

Also, how many relationships fail because of avoidance? This will have to be another blog.

There are days when I literally want to run away. I mean, put on my Nike’s and run. Run like there’s no tomorrow without looking back. Simply to avoid things that scare me. Why can’t I just feel the fear? Because fear immobilizes me. Why? Partly circumstance, but mostly because I haven’t carved a path for myself to be successful. Why didn’t the world do this for me? Why isn’t the world designed for me to fit in it? I’ve been so busy looking at the sparkly shoelacesthat I forgot the purpose of the running shoes. I’ve been used to looking down at my feet rather than a yard ahead.

As always I am preaching to myself. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

  • Work in short bursts. My daughter and I use the “BA15” method. (bust ass for 15 minutes)
  • Turn off external distractions (internet, tv, phone or whatever it is that’s more fulfilling)
  • Log and record your successes. Oh yeah. Use the dreaded to do list.

Even when the path gets rocky, keep going (they make shoes for this, I researched it when I should have been doing laundry). Reach out for that dixie cup of water and head for the finish line. If there are no cheering crowds go anyway. Be your own cheerleader and if you have to, make your own sticker chart.

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